Moving as a way of life

I live in a house that was once occupied by my husband, his former wife and their two children. I made the choice to live here with my eyes wide open, knowing it would be wierd & probably a little uncomfortable, but “worth it.” The kids experienced so much transition last year. I mean, imagine finding out your Mom is gay, your dad gets remarried, you get a step-mom, all of that. I figured anything we could keep constant would be good. Their address(es) and school were two areas where nothing changed last year.

But it has been REALLY wierd and uncomfortable for me to live here. In spite of “redecorating” three rooms (our bedroom, office and the dining room), I am not at home here. First of all, my husband’s ex-wife still owns half of the house. Ick, right? Then, there is the intensely creepy thought that she and he had sex in what is now my bedroom. That is just ICKY to think about. I thought maybe that by living here I could take the edge off of those realities, but that has not been the case. Add that to the fact that I freaking hate living in the SoCal burbs, and I’m ready to move. Again.

But damn. I have lived in nine homes since I was 24 (I’m 36 now). That number only includes places I lived for six months or more. If you added in all the “interim” places I stayed or visited (from between 3 weeks to 4 months) that number goes up to fourteen. Moving is practically a way of life for me. And those nine homes since 24 include two that were in Africa and South America. Packing and unpacking. . .although I dislike it as much as the next person, I have done it so much that it is nearly second nature.

But I’ve never moved “en famille.” I hope it’s not worse than normal moving. We are hopefully putting the house up for sale this spring. We are also praying that the housing market around here stays somewhat afloat. I just can’t believe after making this big move in June from my fabulous Eagle Rock digs out to the burbs, I’m gonna do it all over again. I don’t know what we’ll be able to afford or find, but it looks like moving again is in the cards. Pray for me, k?


4 Responses to Moving as a way of life

  1. reallifeinsc says:

    I think you and your husband are wise to find a place of your own. Sometimes it’s just too hard when the memories of someone else are lurking around. Just want you to know that you have a “moving sister” praying on your behalf! I’ve never moved out of country, but I have moved 9 times in the last 10 years. It isn’t always easy, but children find a way of adjusting, and sometimes it’s just worth all the hard work!

  2. Carol Del says:

    Feel free to blame the moving ‘problem’ on your parents. They moved six times in the five years before you were born, seven times between your birth and your graduation from High School. [And incidentally, nine times since you left for college.] We were/are not a good example. But home IS where the heart is and your heart is not in that place. I’m with those who hold that a place that the four of you choose together and make your own will be really healthy. Patience.
    We are praying.

    Your first responder inspires me to ask a question tho I might not like the answer. Did you feel terribly disrupted by all those moves. Someday we must talk about adjusting – from your perspective. With love. C

  3. Colleen says:

    Good luck girl:) It will be good to choose a new home together wherever and whatever that may be.


  4. shauna says:

    You know its time to move out when in sunny So-Cal your roof is leaking and mildew is giving you asthma attacks…that’s strictly a Florida kind of thing. I can’t see it being anything but good in the long run. Happy parents = happier kids. I feel for you having to move again so quickly…remember when I moved to east LA then to the Rock all in 6 months. the 2nd one nearly knocked me down:) but you are far more resilient to these things than me. as for the housing market and timing and all of that…in Gods hands. I know its hard to trust, but they are v.v. capable.

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