Does Jesus love salami?

You might think that is an odd thing to ask. It is, a little. But it wasn’t me who asked it. It was one of the search engine terms that someone used to get to this blog.

I could never have predicted the bizarre needs and curiosities that lead people to I Prefer Uphill. Does Jesus love salami? I wonder now too. Probably, as a Jew, not so much. But, you never know. The whole thing about “all foods are clean” may affect the glorified Jesus. Lord. Have mercy.

Here are a few other favorites from the past few weeks:

“Examples of immature love.” Well, look no further. Examples of immature love abound here at I Prefer Uphill, starring yours truly.

“How do you say ‘get like me’ in Spanish?” That is an excellent question. My Spanish is passable. I don’t know how you say “get like me” in Spanish. Sea como yo? Maybe? You could always ask Gorilla Zoe. I’m sure he knows. (Or Miguel?)

“Help I’m a misanthrope.” Well, what do you know? Me too. God is at work on me to change that, I’m sure He could help you too. You could always hook up with the person who wanted to know “how does Jesus change rotten people?” This is a mystery, my friend, but He does.

“Fear, family and uphill.” Well, that just about sums it up some days, doesn’t it?

I shit you not on this next one – “pop quiz for righteousness.” What? Was this some crazed fundamentalist who is printing out righteousness quizzes to leave laying around strategically at work? Was it a joke? Or did somebody get nervous and just need a quick check for their level of righteousness? Really, this one has me so curious to know who this was. I’m sorry I don’t have a righteousness quiz to offer. Maybe I could work on that. Someone also searched “quiz to find out how selfish I am.” I’m serious.

“A tattoo that says love, life, live, hate.” Um, I don’t know what to tell you. If your tattoo has those four words, I guess all of life’s eventualities are covered. My tattoo is just of the earth. No words. I wanted to add words to it, but I haven’t yet. So, I guess for now “love life live hate” tattoo is all yours.

Ah, the wide world of the innernets. More craziness than you can shake a stick at. I include myself in that craziness, too. I mean, really. Does Jesus love salami?